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Guidelines

Community Guidelines

Polydelphia’s guidelines are open to revision on an as-needed basis. If you have a question or concern about them, reach out to any of the admins at any time, or attend a town hall!*

  • Polydelphia has a volunteer Steering Committee that works hard to keep the community in line with our core values and mission statement.

    • The current Steering Committee members are Aaron Browne, Michelle Enos, Cerina Gordon, Cliff Hebner (last name Oliver on Facebook), and Imani Thomas.
    • You can reach out to any of us individually or to the “Polydelphia - Gateway” page.
    • We regularly hold town halls and other in-person events, which you can find in the “Events” tab.
    • We also have some Philadelphia-area community resources and poly-friendly business lists in the “Files” tab. Feel free to add to them!
    • If you want to introduce yourself, search for the most recent designated intro post and comment there (but don’t try to use Polydelphia as a way to find dates, ok?). Also look out for designated selfie posts and other fun ways to engage with the community personally.
  • This group is a safer space where we are actively working to center those with marginalized identities.

    • Oppressive language towards marginalized folks will be called out. If you get called out, it’s okay! Listen to what people are saying to you, examine your language, apologize if you can do so sincerely, and move on.
    • Everyone has the right to be angry, frustrated, upset, etc. especially when discussing a situation that involves oppression. Avoid tone policing.
    • Use appropriate trigger and content warnings; many people need these to safely navigate online spaces, we ask that you be respectful of that. If you’re unsure if your post needs a TW/CW, it’s probably a good idea. If someone requests a TW/CW, please add it without argument.
    • Use gender neutral pronouns (they/them) and language on the forum, unless you know for sure what pronouns and gendered language someone uses.
    • When discussing oppression and marginalization, use an intersectional approach, recognizing and respecting that not all people's experience of oppression will match your expectations.
    • Respectfully discuss your personal experiences, but avoid making generalizations about marginalized groups of people.
    • Be respectful. Personal attacks and name-calling on this forum are not okay.
  • Be accountable & respect other’s emotional labor.

    • Avoid making major edits or deleting posts or comments. People put time and energy into responding and everyone should be able to see what happened in a conversation.
    • Make sure you haven’t blocked all Polydelphia’s Steering Committee members - this makes it impossible for us to engage with you!
  • Respect the privacy of the people you are involved with.

    • Avoid airing “dirty laundry” on this page. No one wants to watch you have a fight with your partner in the comments section.
    • Do not share names or identifying information when posting on the forum without someone’s consent.
    • If you’d like to ask a question of the group anonymously, message any of the steering committee members and we can post it for you.
  • Don’t be cruising.

    • We love your ethical slut self, but this is not a place to solicit for sex.
    • We are interested in the practice of ethical non-monogamy, meaning this is not the place for you if you are looking to cheat on a partner.

Sometimes people aren’t awesome. If you have had a bad experience with a member in this group or a member of the larger community outside of this group, please fill out our reporting form or let one of our 7 steering committee members know so we can keep a record of what’s happened and take action if necessary. We do not work with law enforcement but we trust your experiences and will do everything in our power to keep our community safe from abuse and violence. The following are our online consent and safety guidelines:

  • This forum is not a cruising space. It is not a place to ask for dates or sex.
  • If you do not know someone personally, ask for consent on the public board before messaging them.
  • Flirting & cruising can be subjective. If you are talking with someone and they ask you to stop engaging with them in a particular way (i.e. “don’t give me physical compliments,” “don’t ask me out again,” or just plain old “don’t message me anymore”), STOP.
  • Failure to do either of the above will result in a warning from admins, and removal for repeated offenses (or for egregious first offenses).
  • To report an online issue, please reach out to a steering committee member or use our reporting form here.
  • We do our best to keep our community safe from abusive behavior. While we cannot guarantee complete safety, we hear reports and often take action on…
  • Physical, including sexual, assault and abuse
  • Emotional, verbal, financial, etc. abuse
  • Coercion, sexual or otherwise
  • Consent violations in general
  • Other harmful/abusive patterns of behavior not covered above
  • The admins will take action (warning, suspension, or removal from group) based on these behaviors whether or not they occurred specifically at Polydelphia events.
  • To report an issue, reach out to a steering committee member individually or use our reporting form here.
  • You can view a more detailed description of our reporting & safety processes here.